I know.. forwards are everywhere but sometimes you come across one that's not half bad. So, I thought it's be nice to share it with my eblah peeps as well
If you have any good ones .. please post
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I LOVE IT! thanks for sharing. Terrific. I probably miss out on a huge amount because I will not read Forwarded emails if they have heaps of names and email addresses of other people on them. They go into my junk mail and I delete them without looking. It's not hard if people take the time with a multi mail out to send the original back to your own email addy and hit BCC to add and send to everyone else you want to send it to. That way no-one can see anyone else's email address.
Another one I get forwarded.. suppose with all this Hey Hey stuff happening and it really does get you thinking...
Quoted Text
I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is.....
Michael Richards makes his point............... Michael Richards better known as Kramer from TVs Seinfeld does make a good point. This was his defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act. He makes some very interesting points...
Someone finally said it. How many are actually paying attention to this? There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc and then there are just Americans.
You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,' 'Whitey,' 'Caveman'... and that's OK.. But when I call you, black person, Kike, Towel head, Sand-black person, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink .. You call me a racist.
You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you... so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?
You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah.
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You have the NAACP.
You have BET.... If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists.
If we had White History Month, we'd be racists.
If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR lives, we'd be racists.
We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that??
A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant.
If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know we'd be racists.
There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US ..... Yet if there were 'White colleges', that would be a racist college.
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.
You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.
I am proud... but you call me a racist. Why is it that only whites can be racists??
It is estimated that ONLY 5% of those reaching this point in this e-mail, will pass it on.
I am proud to certainly pass it on!
... I feel racist even for posting this but yet - I KNOW it makes some good points... and at the end of the day I am living in 2009 and I have way to many cultures surrounding me with friends and family to know I love everything about difference. So yes, this forward made some good points for me..
"If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know we'd be racists." Mm at my uni there are no scholarships I can apply for as I'm neither poor nor Aboriginal Yet there's a multitude for some races..
Heather when did you check your email to read those, once a year?
haha ... lol that's my bigpond one.. I NEVER check my hotmail.. so, so, so bad with that.. I think all my friends and family just know now if its not sent to bigpond.. dont expect a reply. lol. for 6 months.
Every now and then I can’t resist the urge to reply to some of the unsolicited emails I get. I was just searching through some old documents and found the following from some years back...
First I got this:
FROM:CHARLES BROWN No. 12 Northwest lane Abuja. Private phone:+234 802 680 7970
ATTN: Strictly confidential.
It's my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I , intend to establish in your country.
Though I have not met with you before but I believe,one has to risk confiding in someone to succeed sometimes in life. There is this huge amount of Twleve million USA dollars ($12,000,000.00) which my late Client in a security storage house here before he was poisoned by unknow persons.Now I decided to invest these money in your country or anywhere safe enough outside the country for security and political reasons.We want you to help us to transfer this fund to your country for investment purposes on the followings below: If you can be of an assistance to us I will be pleased to offer you 20% Of the total fund.
It is very important that you forward to me your full name , your private telephone and fax numbers/occupation,to enable me send all relevant documents pertaining the deposit of this fund to you.
Hence I will not be exposed to avoid loosing the money. I await for your soonest response.
Thank you and God bless you. Sincerely,
CHARLES BROWN. private phone:+234 802 680 7970
So I replied:
Hi there Charlie, how’s your good self and the rest of the gang? Please be sure to give my love to Snoopy, Lucy, Linus and the rest of them.
But seriously, I bet you get tired of all the jokes about working for Peanuts; I bet you wish you had a dollar for every time you heard one of those eh? Well never mind Charlie, it looks like there are a few dollars in the offing now, so it’s all good.
You wrote
“It's my pleasure to contact you”
I’m sure the pleasure is all yours Charlie me old china.
“for a business venture which I , intend to establish in your country”
And it’s so secret that you can’t even say which country that is? Ooooo this IS getting exciting!
“Though I have not met with you before but I believe,one has to risk confiding in someone to succeed sometimes in life.”
Well I think a few politicians, entertainers etc might disagree with you on this one Charlie – confiding hasn’t always brought them success, but that hasn’t diminished my appreciation that, of all the people in the world, you chose to trust ME! You have no idea how warm and fuzzy I’m feeling right now - just like a felt covered wheat bag straight from the microwave.
“There is this huge amount of Twleve million USA dollars ($12,000,000.00)”
Always a wise idea to include the actual figure when you can’t spell the number - kudos Charlie.
“which my late Client in a security storage house here before he was poisoned by unknow persons.”
My goodness gracious!!! You don’t say?!! You mean your client is not late because he couldn’t get a taxi, but he’s late because he was poisoned in a security storage house by persons unknown(n)! What do the global security agencies have to say about that? And have you thought about selling the story to Hollywood? I’m sure there’s a Bruce Willis movie in there somewhere and it could be a nice little sideline earner for you.
“It is very important that you forward to me your full name , your private telephone and fax numbers/occupation,to enable me send all relevant documents pertaining the deposit of this fund to you.”
I’m sure it IS very important. Would you like my account details, passwords, and all the other relevant information you need to access my bank accounts now? It might save asking for them later.
“Thank you and God bless you.”
And God bless you too Charlie Brown. When you access my bank accounts you’ll notice that there isn’t much you can take out, but there’s plenty of room for you to deposit 20% of “Twleve Million.”
Then I heard from Miriam, and thought it might be a good idea to quote her as I replied. So:
“Puoi ora scrivermi a questo indirizzo: m_hajia008@yahoo.it Goodday friend,”
Do I know you?
“I am Mariam Hajia Abacha the wife of the late Nigeria head of state, General Sani Abacha.”
No I don’t. So why are you writing to me to complain about a late husband – hasn’t anyone told you that most husbands are late? It’s a male thing..
“Following the sudden death of my husband General Sani Abacha the late former head of state of Nigeria in june (1998 )”
Oh I see. He’s late as in dead then. So why didn’t you say you were his widow. It would have saved a lot of confusion. Hmm...this is starting to sound familiar.
“I have been thrown into a state of utter confusion, frustration and hopelessness by the present civilian administration”
Yes that sounds very familiar. We appear to have a fellow feeling going on here gurl�
“I have been subjected to physical and psychological torture by the security agents in the country.”
Hmm... Still with you...sort of...I’ve been subjected to advertising so I can understand...
“My son was under detention arraigned before the federal high court of Nigeria for an offence he did not commit.”
Oh, I’m definitely back with you again. My son got detention for an offence he reckoned he didn’t commit: some teachers are crap judges.
“As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with anybody within the country.”
Quite right too! Much better to trust a complete stranger, isn’t it?
“You must have heard over the media reports and the internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money deposited by my husband in different security firms abroad, some companies willingly give up their secrets and disclosed our money confidently lodged there or many outright blackmail.”
Must I? Can’t say I have heard, but maybe this explains why you’ve been having a few problems. People do insist on getting peeved when they think that somebody in power is ripping off the wealth of the people.
“In fact the total sum discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of ($700). Million dollars.”
Goodness gracious! They’ve traced $700 million already! How much DID your late husband rip off then? I’m starting to feel a bit morally outraged here!
“And they are not relenting to make me poor for life.”
Can’t say I blame them.
“I got your contacts through my personal research”
You did?
“and out of desperation decided to reach you through this medium.”
So who’s the medium then? And is (s)he happy? It’s important to know because I always aim for a happy medium, and quite often I strike it – but not hard enough for assault charges.
“I will give you more information as to this regard as soon as you reply. I repose great confidence in you hence my approach to you due to security network placed on my day to day affairs”
Ahhh...my reputation must be more widespread than I imagined. I DO try to help people, it’s true, but I still have this problem of moral outrage at you and your late husband and son ripping off the poor people of Nigeria.
“I cannot afford to visit the embassy”
Oh, so did the $700 million they found clean you out?
“so that is why I decided to contact you and I hope you will not betray my confidence in you.
I have deposited the sum of ($15)million dollars with a security firm abroad whose name is witheld for now until we open communication.”
Oh I see it didn’t clear you out then.
“I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your account for safe keeping.”
Does that mean I get a cut? If so, why the hell didn’t you say so right at the start? All that time wasted in moral outrage!!!...
“This arrangement is known to you and my son Mustapha alone, so my son will deal directly with you as security is up my whole being.”
Must be a cultural difference security is more likely to be up the backside here.
“I am seriously considering to settle down abroad in a friendly atmosphere like yours as soon as this fund get into your account so that I can start all over again if only you wish”
How about you seriously consider somewhere else? Australia has enough people ripping off the system as it is.
“but if it is impossible,just help me in diverting this fund into your account which will accrue you (30%) of this fund.”
That’s more than 20% of $12 million, isn’t it?
WELL SCREW YOU CHARLIE BROWN!!!
“Please honesty is the watch word in this transaction.”
You said it sista!!!!! Mind you I doubt that honesty had much to do with the $700 million you mentioned earlier.
“I will require your telephone and fax numbers so that we can commence communication immediately and I will give you a more detailed picture of things.”
Hang on and I’ll just go and copy and paste from Charlie’s email.
“In case you dont accept please do not let me out to the security as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence .I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please expedite action.May your heart desire be granted as you are willing to help me and my family, Amen. Best Regards Mariam Hajia Abacha.”
Well bless you too Mariam. Aunty Bev
................................................
Oddly enough, I never heard back from Charlie or Miriam during the following week, but while I was waiting for their replies, I had the happy thought of introducing them to each other – so I emailed them both:
Dear Charlie and Mariam,
As your mutual friend, I’m sure you’ll understand that it is with your best interests at heart that I introduce you to each other.
Needless to say, I would never breach either of your trust in me by betraying details, but you two simply wouldn’t believe how much you have in common! I’m totally convinced you must be soulmates.
Seriously, you both know what it’s like to have people who suddenly become late not due to traffic jams, and you both seem to be living a Jackie Collins novel, but without the sex.
And...
Coincidentally enough, you both have millions of good reasons to start a new life.
So why don’t you soulmates do it together?
Forget the pre-nup, why pay a lawyer when the perpetual battle to rip each other off will add such spice to the marriage? What I reckon you should do is pool the millions and buy an island somewhere NOT off the coast of Australia and create a sort of cross between Mustique and Fantasy Island for all the people with similar stories to your own. There seem to be an increasing number of them emailing me, so I’m certain that you’ll never run out of customers. And think what fun you two can have working together to rip them off.
It’s hard to imagine a jollier future, isn’t it? And maybe Charlie Brown can bring along Lucy to keep Mustapha company.
It’s the happy ever after ending that you both so richly deserve.
Cheers, Aunty Bev
PS: Please make sure that all first class accommodation is prebooked and prepaid before you email my wedding invitation and include a sizable donation to cover my out of pocket expenses. I’ll check with the local airport re the Lear Jet coming in to pick me up, and I’ll ground all flying pigs for the occasion.
It’s amazing what you find when you’re searching through old stuff!
Here’s an Aunty type post that I made in a discussion about “Happiness”. The thing that amused me about this piece of writing was that I posted it in a closed forum and, about four months later, it came back to me as a forwarded email – credited to anonymous.
It was forwarded by a friend who was NOT a member of the closed forum. She said that it sounded like me.
Happiness is a fine champagne - it bubbles, sparkles and for the short time it, and its after effects, lasts, it transports you from your everyday world.
Contentment is freshly squeezed orange juice- it’s simple, healthy, takes a little work, and if you’re determined to experience you can taste the warmth of the sun.
Acceptance is water -not particularly exciting, always palatable, not always plentiful but essential for life.
Unhappiness is aloe gel juice - never palatable and sometimes extremely bitter and hard to swallow, but it has medicinal and healing properties and once you’re healed the memory of the bad taste fades.
Depression and despair is arsenic - not necessarily fatal in one dose but it has a cumulative effect.
Don’t be fooled by the advertisements that tell you that you deserve champagne 24/7 and you’ll have it if you do/buy this that or the other. Too much champagne is poisonous. Champagne is meant to be special and rare. Don’t actively seek it but just keep an eye out and, if a glass is on offer, take it, drain it, and savour every second.
Try for a bit of freshly squeezed orange juice every day - even if it’s a bit of an effort squeezing an orange and the orange isn’t particularly juicy. Look for the small contentments: a heartfelt hug, a minute or two in the sun watching a lizard scurry about his life, make a stranger smile and let that smile warm you, turn off the phones and lower your aching bones into a bath, kick off your shoes and put your feet up for just five precious minutes. Whatever it is, however brief it is, find the little moments of contentment when you can.
You need many glasses of water every day or you’ll never flush the toxins from your system. Yes, you should always challenge yourself - you won’t grow otherwise - but you also need lots of daily acceptance - even if it’s only a case of “Well I’ve done everything I can do for now and tomorrow is another day.”
Every now and then you get an injury that just doesn’t seem to heal in a hurry. Aloe juice is good for that. It might not be what you’d chose but s**t happens and you just have to work your way through it knowing that eventually, sooner or later, there will be another time when you’re not having to drink it. If you’ve trained yourself to find little bits of contentment, that freshly squeezed orange juice can kill the taste for a little while before the next drink of aloe juice.
Some people seem to get through life without truly recognizing the taste of arsenic: others aren’t so lucky. Arsenic is, of course, deadly. And if you’re not careful you might even fail to recognize that you’re tasting it. Get help.
Logged
Yet there's a multitude for some races..
Heather when did you check your email to read those, once a year? 
on my face! 
