There's a couple of subjects I want to discuss and don't feel that they warrent beginning new threads. One is regarding parents who indulge their children from a very young age and give them 'things' in particular big birthday parties from a very young age. The other subject is parents who try to control and manipulate their children's lives even when those 'children' are 18 and over. Case in point... this week's debacle caught on camera between a swimming coach and his swimmer daughter.
I found this story athttp://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21477452-2,00.html
It concerns parents going all out for their children's parties. Some spending $125. per head/guest. Parents spending $125 a head for kids' parties
By Susie O'Brien
March 31, 2007 12:00am
PARENTS are spending up to $125 a head on birthday parties to try to satisfy increasing demands from children.
Competition among parents and a lack of time is also fuelling the trend towards extravagant parties.
Costly discos, fairy princesses, visiting pirate ships, baby karaoke, magicians, jumping castles and travelling zoos are in vogue, as advertisements in parenting magazines show.
But popular party options still abound for less than $20 a head at fast-food outlets and indoor play centres.
Cheaper still is Pass the Parcel and Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
Patricia Howell, co-owner of My Special Day, began her own party business with friend Kylie Hunt this year.
They've already organised a range of events, including a fully customised fairy princess-theme party at $125 a head and a pirate party for $50 a head.
But their parties are individually designed, and parents can pay as little or as much as they like.
"Some parents just want to make it really special and cost doesn't seem to be an object," Ms Howell said.
"It is value for money because of the quality of the goods we use - it's all customised rather than off the shelf.
"And most parents pay that anyway if they do the party themselves."
End of exerpt.
Fairy bread, pass the parcel, a themed cake done by a local cake maker & decorator (my son's was a teenage mutant ninja turtle) a treasure hunt, some party punch and a bag of lollies does not cost that much!!
Yes get them to dress up as a Princess, or a fairy, or a pirate but to hell with hiring a person dressed up as a Fairy, Pirate or Clown to entertain the kiddies.
Good grief, are parents so disconnected from their children they have forgotten about the personal touch. My little friend Abby who turned 6 last November had a BBQ when she turned 5 in a park with friends and for her 6th birthday had a 'skate themed' party at a local Rollerdome which cost her Mum $250. altogether and her Mum was shocked by the expense (which seems altogether paltry compared to what some people spend)!
Second subject now. When should parents stop telling their kids what to do and who they can and cannot 'see'? The swimmer at the centre of the biggest national news story this week is 18 and wanting to lead her own private life. Read the following to get the gist of what the father-daughter argument was about this week.What the Zubkovs really said
March 31, 2007 12:00am
THE coach and father under fire for the ugly poolside brawl revealed last night what was actually said in the controversial footage.
In his affidavit before the FINA disciplinary hearing, which began at 9.30pm, Mikhaylo Zubkov said:
"I had received that afternoon a telephone call from my wife telling me that she heard that Kateryna was seeing a boy we had told her to stay away from. I was concerned (Kateryna) was distraught because of him," he said.
"I now refer to the video and set out what was said:
M: Could you please sit down so we can talk. Calm down we need to discuss this (situation about the boy).
M: You can take your swimming cap off. (K throws cap to the floor).
M: Just calm down. Could you listen to me, relax. I'll talk to you about it. Go easy.
K: It's my business. I don't feel like discussing it with you now. It's my private life. I'm going away. Don't stop me. I'm going away. Just leave me alone.
M: Just look at what you're doing. It's unpleasant. Let's stop doing it . . . If you sit down we can talk calmly. We don't need to argue.
K: Leave me alone.
M: Do you think it's more important for you than your relationship with us (your family)?
K: I don't know what's more important for me now.
M: You must make a decision, what's more important for you, because we do a lot for you. This boy is not good enough for you and you know why. We have discussed it several times before. You promised before you would not meet with him.
M: You are old enough to decide.
K: It's difficult for me to do it, to decide.
M: You're able to do this by yourself. You don't know what you want. You promised one thing, you do another. We don't know what you think. You know our attitude towards this. From one side you understand what we think but you do the opposite to what you promised us.
M: We are doing what's best for you but it's like an empty drumming sound for you. You don't appreciate our opinion.
K: (crying) It's clear for me. I understand it all. You do a lot for me.
M: You decide then, re-decide . . . You can't make the decision by yourself.
M: Understand this decision which we make for you, it's for your wellbeing, to help you. It's not bad for you. We have our own experience and we know life better than you. Let us do it if you can't.
(M tries to hug K) K: It's my own life, my own way to live. I don't need your help.
M: We are not enemies. We are from the same side. We are friends. I want the best for you.
(M sits, K packs bag)
M: Try to calm down and forget about it. Let's forget about this argument (hug).
K: Just let me go. I would like to be alone. I understand it all. I want to be alone and think about it. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21477553-2,00.html
No wonder the poor girl is mixed up with all the mixed messages her father is giving her.
When I was 23 I was given the choice between my family (mother and father mainly) or the man I had lived with for 2 years. I chose my family because I could NOT imagine living without my parents in my life. I have regretted the fact I let them bully me ever since. Parents cannot choose for their adult children, what is best for them in their lives just because they have life experience to draw from. Children, no matter what their age, HAVE to make their own lives, learn from their OWN experiences and make their own history. I had two years where I thought I would lose my daughter directly or indirectly due to her then boyfriend's actions and lifestyle. I was terrified. I prayed to a higher power every single day that she be kept 'safe and well and free from harm'. She survived and now, 10 years later, is a stronger person than I could ever be. She has learnt from her own experiences and makes very deliberate choices concerning her life now, to accomplish the future she desires. Children have to make their own mistakes, how are they going to 'learn' otherwise?