A bit of fun. Was curious to find out if anyone on the forums has tried any of the above. I have tried Internet dating and am on several singles sites. I have not had anything develop from any hook ups and have managed to work out that only 5% of the male population are normal, regular, well balanced people! The other 95% are dysfunctional in some way or another and need to seek help. I would love to try speed dating just to see how it would be. I have found meeting at a neutral busy place in the mid-morning to have a coffee and a chat is the best way to break the ice and not offend someone if it doesn't develop past that initial coffee date. Have you or someone you know tried these methods of finding someone to date?

That's pretty funny... only 5% of us are normal : )
I hope you aren't using that avatar as a personal picture  

I put "been there done that" but the reality is that I never did do internet dating.  When I first got a computer I did do an email pen-pal thing with people all over the world and it later led to me meeting my wife.  Turned out that my perfect woman lived almost entirely on the other side of the globe.

That's wonderful Meandean. I suppose Pen-pals was the accepted and nicer thing to do. People think Internet dating is sleazy and it can be if you don't have a set of rules in mind, and stick to them. A lot of people, men and women, use it to hook up for one night stands. My avatar, I kinda looked like that when I was pushing 30, a good many years later... not so much!

They are both intriguing ideas, but I could never see myself doing it.  Some people like that sort of stuff, but it isn't really my thing.  I think I see love as something that builds over time with someone who you get on well with and know.  Not something you effectively purchase as a package online.  I can see why it works, because both people are looking for love or sex or whatever. But I assume unless they are both playing highly safe and never get to really know eachother it is not going to be right.  The chance you will be attracted to them and it will continue to mean something when you are no longer as in need of finding someone is quite small.  And the obvious let down for most people when they find people from online aren't all they thought they would be.  I think it's a huge amount of pressure on both people involved to be someone who they are not.  And is probably the most direct application of the misguided view of love people have aquired in this age.  Speed dating says I want someone for me, they've already missed the point.  It's not about what you can get out of it.  But that is the easy way to approach it.  Everyone seems to want someone there to avoid having to go on looking for someone and being alone.  I suppose the yeh that will do works, but they miss something a lot better.  Sort of too caught up in what they don't have to see that there is another more beautiful side to it all.  And by hooking up with just anyone to fill this void they suddenly become unavailable for the right person ending up with them.  The person who actually sees why they are worth more than the next and are a one in a million find rather than just the fact they are the opposite sex.

IMHO and in my case I do not go out to clubs/pubs to socialise. I do not work outside the home environment and I am an older person (as in not 30-35 anymore). Internet dating gives me the chance to chat to and possibly meet people of similar age, similar hobbies and likes, and who, like me do not get the chance to socialise for whatever reason. I don't feel there is any pressure to be someone or something I am not... what they see is what they get. Although, I am aware that many people on singles sites lie their heads off. You get very savvy very quickly when in the online dating arena. I go in with absolutely no expectations therefore no disappointments! If there is no other way to meet like minded people then I say go for it, if it's not your bag, then that's fine too. In all situations in life, especially these days, we have to be aware of the dangers lurking around every corner.

Hi all. I am becomming more and more of a fan of internet dating since I actually purchased a membership. Previously I just used to register and fill out a profile then send smiles or winks to women I was attracted too (physical a cerebral attributions). Sure I recieved some smiles and winks back, but that was it, nothing continued because none of us where willing to pay membership and take a chance. However, after purchasing the membership things changed as I was able to contact them, which brought me to the attention of interested ladies. I guess I didn't come across as a free loader anymore or something. Anyhow I have created many new friendships and enjoy going out with these ladies. I think internet dating provides a great choice. A lady from West Aus has contacted me to just show her around S.E QLD, that's cool and I am looking forward to an activitiies partner for my holidays. I must say that SuziH has a good point there, from what I have been told by many of these ladies, there are a lot of blokes out there that need help (heard some real perverted stuff) but 95%, I can't say. I have come across some strange ladies too, but in my experience so far, I won't generalise. Just a word of advice if you seriously want to have a go at it, make sure they have a photo because there are some dishonest people out there. Whilst on the subject of honesty, tickle.com provides various psychological tests for it's members which provides a good compatibility base to kick things off with. Even if your not interested in persuing somebody on tickle, the tests are immensely fun! Check it out! Hope this helps a little, cheers all. PS. No, I don't look like my avatar

I think if you trawl these forums looking for someone than you're in the wrong forum and here for the wrong reason.

But if it happens by chance, well it happens!

Quoted from redeyes

I think if you trawl these forums looking for someone than you're in the wrong forum and here for the wrong reason.

But if it happens by chance, well it happens!

Are you saying people are on this forum hoping to find someone to date? Or where you just generalising? Because if you were saying people actually go on to forums to purposefully look for someone who grabs their fancy, I would say you are sadly mistaken. Like Pezant explained he (and I) belong to singles sites for that purpose. A chat forum is no where to be sniffing about for someone to ring your bells.

Quoted from SuziH

singles sites for that purpose. A chat forum is no where to be sniffing about for someone to ring your bells.

That's what I said!!!!  Then I added, but if it does happen then so be it.

I can't see that it's much different to blind dating.

I like the chat-forum concept that has developed with the internet.  It is a god-send for shy people like myself.

The internet chat-forums are probably the most egalitarian communities on earth.

I agree whole heartedly Cactus. I am by no means shy but I don't get the opportunity to socialise. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't gamble therefore clubs, pubs, taverns and the like hold no attraction for me. I can't imagine I am going to find the man of my dreams in the frozen food dept. of a supermarket. I can't imagine I am going to meet like minded people, male and female, at the local Library. So here I sit at my desk and let my fingers do the walking, and talking!

Quoted from redeyes

I think if you trawl these forums looking for someone than you're in the wrong forum and here for the wrong reason.

But if it happens by chance, well it happens!

Exactly right!

Looking for love in any shape or form is forcing a situation which should happen naturally or not at all.

This has been covered before (a few posts along) but just to reiterate... here is what I said...
Are you saying people are on this forum hoping to find someone to date? Or where you just generalising? Because if you were saying people actually go on to forums to purposefully look for someone who grabs their fancy, I would say you are sadly mistaken. Like Pezant explained he (and I) belong to singles sites for that purpose. A chat forum is no where to be sniffing about for someone to ring your bells.

Get it, got it, good!

Quoted from SuziH

This has been covered before (a few posts along) but just to reiterate... here is what I said...
Are you saying people are on this forum hoping to find someone to date? Or where you just generalising? Because if you were saying people actually go on to forums to purposefully look for someone who grabs their fancy, I would say you are sadly mistaken. Like Pezant explained he (and I) belong to singles sites for that purpose. A chat forum is no where to be sniffing about for someone to ring your bells.

Get it, got it, good!

Good for you,Suzi, thats told em............lol
I myself come on here because I like to make new friends and talk about interesting subjects......as i think is the case with most of us.
Anyway, I think looking for love is like looking for a job.......when you have one you see lots of employment possibilities, when you are out of work there is nothing around.

All I really read out of that statement a couple posts above is that love isn't usually found when it's being looked for.  It wasn't delivered with much diplomacy though.  I have to agree with taking argument if the meaning was "This behaviour is wrong or strange," but for fear that people get as angry as me over misunderstandings....

Edit: Forgot.  Looking for love in any shape or form is natural.  It just happens that not everyone finds it that way.  I'm tempted to say "usually don't find it that way" but it would be speaking outside of my experience.  Anyhow, it's hardly shameful to try.

Quoted from Lawnbowler

Good for you,Suzi, thats told em............lol
I myself come on here because I like to make new friends and talk about interesting subjects......as i think is the case with most of us.
Anyway, I think looking for love is like looking for a job.......when you have one you see lots of employment possibilities, when you are out of work there is nothing around.

Thank you and I agree with Meandean as well.
Life.... aren't we looking for love in one form or another right from when we are born?
Love of a parent, love of a family, playmates, school mates, then in latter primary school we begin to be more aware of our own sexuality and become attracted to and smitten with people who attract us at school. Then when we leave school it's (in my case) when you have a job you look at people you see during working hours (usually customers) with a prospect to love. Other's continue their education and they too usually 'look for love' in their environment. That is life. It's only natural and it's only human. To find someone to love and share our lives with.
Why do people go to Night venues to dance and drink etc? Mainly to look for someone with whom they can get to know, maybe date and fall in love. If you don't 'look' then how the hell are you supposed to find it? It normally, from my experiences, doesn't just land in your lap. People like to increase their chances of finding 'the one' and Internet Dating is one way to do that.

Quoted from SuziH

This has been covered before (a few posts along) but just to reiterate... here is what I said...
Are you saying people are on this forum hoping to find someone to date? Or where you just generalising? Because if you were saying people actually go on to forums to purposefully look for someone who grabs their fancy, I would say you are sadly mistaken. Like Pezant explained he (and I) belong to singles sites for that purpose. A chat forum is no where to be sniffing about for someone to ring your bells.

Get it, got it, good!

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much  

I came across a lady a few weeks back that met her partner internet dating, and is very happy. Her daughter had decided to try it and is also happy (though her relationship is not as serious as her mothers - yet).

Me - I dont think it would be for me, not comfortable with idea of finding out that suzy the dress maker used to be brian the wharfie!.

Quoted from SuziH

I have probably been on 10 such dates. Only one fellow worked out and we dated for 5 weeks but...

Suicide I suspect!

If a friend on the forum had not told me what you wrote Cactus, I wouldn't have known since I have my settings so I can't see your posts (obviously with good reason). Your reply to my intelligent (I think) post was unessessarily rude, mean and uncalled for. Before you write it was in jest or whatever excuse you want to use for your bad manners, DON"T.

Actually remembered another friend of my wife had picked herself up a bloke from internet dating, he was dating (and having sex with ) 3 other women at the time, he now is (supposedly) only with her, and has moved in, she pays the bills, he does a bit of gardening and housework. She seems happy to, but not my idea of an ideal way to start a relationship, being Sunday and Tuesday nights entertainment!

There are people like you mention out there BB. They call them 'players'. I recently asked someone who is registered on the same site as myself what a player actually is. A bit naive I am! They said it's someone who is on more than a few sites and who dates several people at one time.

Quoted from SuziH

There are people like you mention out there BB. They call them 'players'. I recently asked someone who is registered on the same site as myself what a player actually is. A bit naive I am! They said it's someone who is on more than a few sites and who dates several people at one time.

Quoted from SuziH

I have probably been on 10 such dates.

"10 such dates" hardly naive, more like a professional I'd say.

I think, to be quite honest, that there's more going on than any of us are probably aware of between you two and with that said, I've said it but I don't feel obliged to say anything that makes it okay for either one of you to come from where you are coming from nor do I feel obliged to say either of you are wrong... so can't you just go out on a date and work it out?  I mean you met on the internet

Okay the first part wasn't so much a joke actually.

I agree with Cactus.  10 internet dates and she pretends to be naive.  Please spare me the pretence of little Miss innocence.

Quoted from InkyPinky

I agree with Cactus.  10 internet dates and she pretends to be naive.  Please spare me the pretence of little Miss innocence.

Well I sure hope my daughter is "little miss innocent" after she has her first 10 dates! (she is a bit young at the moment, and has not worked out how to pick the padlocks on her chains)

paula would divorce me if i did so i voted not in a million years

I feel there is no right or wrong way of meeting someone.  We are all visual creatures but at the same time we all crave for a true connection, which is more than skin deep.  Internet dating makes finding this connection a little easier and knowing that everyone online is available for someone is an advantage.  Offline you don't always know if a person you're interested in is available.

Quoted from SuziH

There are people like you mention out there BB. They call them 'players'. I recently asked someone who is registered on the same site as myself what a player actually is. A bit naive I am! They said it's someone who is on more than a few sites and who dates several people at one time.

Think, Cherry on BB! (Or Rory)