Friday 7 May 1999
By eBroadcast Staff and agencies.

Julianna Margulies was recently overcome by diarrhea of the mouth during an interview with a British magazine – so much for curiosity

'Pull your pants down and bend over, stat!'

You know how sometimes, you say you’re going to a movie, and someone without a brain who’s already seen it blurts out, "the whole thing’s just a game dude, he falls on this big air mattress at the end – it’s killer." You know how you want to throw that person off the Empire State Building onto a bed of nails? Well, Julianna Margulies is one of those people.

Since Margulies has ruined it for everyone, and you’re bound to find out somewhere else anyway, here’s the scoop. Clooney's character, Dr. Doug Ross, will return to ER after learning that nurse Hathaway's is having twins. "An appearance by George will make the ratings go through the roof," Margulies said. "And what better way to get him back than to give him some children to return to?" Clooney? Ratings? Really?

Determined not to stop there, Margulies went on to spew even more details, thus ruining any/all possibility of curiosity. "George has already agreed, and the plots are being developed," Margulies said. "We're all looking forward to having him back on the set."

In past episodes we have discovered Hathaway is pregnant, but the possibility she could miscarry has been looming like a dark cloud. Now, thanks to Margulies’ runaway trap, we know every last detail, down to the series finale (she realizes she is pregnant with twins), and beyond. "The plan is to have George come back for Carol and his kids and then, I suppose, we'll all ride off into the sunset together when I leave the show after my contract expires next year," Margulies said.

NBC spokeswoman Rebecca Marks, of course, denied the Clooney return, but that’s all just network speak for "he’s coming back, but he hasn’t come up with an exciting new hairstyle yet."

Clooney, whose departure has led to a ratings slip, is expected to make about $2 million-per-episode for the comeback. Here’s our idea to increase the ratings. Have Noah Wyle’s character, Dr. Carter, get run over by a bus…twice in the same episode.

Talk about a rating gold mine.