Monday 3 May 1999
By eBroadcast Staff and agencies.

The skeletal actress won't talk about her weight to anybody

'Heard any good jokes lately?'

God, are we sick of it. This issue of Calista Flockhart’s weight is getting to be old, tired, and so stale you could pound a nail with it. Perhaps the little psycho does have a problem. Perhaps she could be put in a food line in Africa, and be mistaken for a starving albino tribe member.

Who cares?

The fact of the matter is, the woman has denied the rumors. Yes, she probably is lying. No, choking down a hot dog on national TV does not solve her rumored problem. But, if the chick wants help, she’ll get it eventually. All this pestering media crap will do is make her down a bottle of pain killers, and put an end to a one-time great show.

Although being part of the pestering media crap has been fun, we’re calling the dogs off. We would hope our media brethren will do the same (no one listens to us – so don’t hold your breath).

The high and mighty Today show was apparently offended by Flockhart’s request not to discuss the tired subject of her weight. Show spokeswoman, and resident relentless bitch, Allison Gollust had this to say Thursday, "we never agree to restrictions on interviews." Yeah, as though fat drunken housewives couldn’t have lived another day without seeing ridiculous excuse for a reporter Matt Lauer, or superwitch Katie Kouric, humiliate Flockhart on national TV, while bringing up the topic for the 1,000th time.

Please.

Get over yourselves Today Show. Letterman and fat Rosie’s shows both agreed to talk about other things (like the movie Flockhart has coming out, A Midsummer Night’s Dream with the still spicy Michelle Pfiefer). We’d rather people ask Flockhart who she’s banging these days, how she made it in showbiz with an A cup (or less), and whether she believes in the whole "knee pit" theory?

Of course, it’s a hell of a lot more difficult to do an interview when you have to ask some interesting questions, eh?