Saturday 22 May 1999
By eBroadcast Staff and agencies.

Ever wonder why our site seems weird? Read on.

Above: An editor's best friend.

10. The "I Can't Believe It's Not Going To Kill Me" Drink: This is a little dangerous and we don't recommend this to the weak of heart. Mix in a large glass Jolt cola, a butt-load of rum, and some ice. Let sit for six seconds while you stir. This produces some interesting effects to say the least. Jolt is the equivalent of 2 cups of coffee. When mixed with the mellowing effects of rum, the body gets confused, doesn't know if it should bounce off the walls or pass out on the couch. Anything can happen. We recommend blocking off a large amount of time the following day for recovery time. Virtually any show will be better under the influence of this drink…except Frasier of course.
Word most likely heard the next morning: "Ouch"

9. Mexican Coffee: This is going to sound a little gross but we assure you, if you like coffee and you like tequila, this will be your best friend on a cold morning tube-side. It's a similar version of the above only with tequila. Simply add 1 shot of tequila (1 and a half if you feel frisky or sad) to your morning coffee. Top it off with some whip cream if you have it. Consume at your own pace. Repeat until you see two of your televisions and/or are convinced you're God.

This is a great way to pretend you're Elvis too, since we all know the King liked to watched multiple TVs at once.
Phrase most likely heard while drinking: "Will this strip paint?"

8. Whiskey straight-up (no rocks) with a beer chaser: This is good for Drew Carey night (unless you have to go to work early the next morning. Drew Carey is a great show, it's funny, and down to earth. Just like you will be when you're drinking this honest, working man's drink combo. Also, don't get some fancy-pants microbrew for the chaser. Three reasons. First, the beer shouldn't overpower the taste of the whiskey, which special brews can do (honestly a great beer for this is Pabst Blue Ribbon). Second, if you're getting a quality brew, you should spend the proper time appreciating and enjoying it. Third, get a cheaper beer and spend the extra cash on a more expensive whiskey. Your tastebuds and your head will thank you.
Phrase most likely heard under the influence: "Hell yeah!"

7. Water: How can two hundred trillion fish be wrong?
Phrase most likely heard while drinking: "Is this filtered?"

6. The Dead Zombie: Enter at your own risk. Lock the door behind you and turn on something nasty. Porn, violence, or anything with a ton things getting smashed up. Bruce Lee movies work well too. Combine one ounce of tequila, white rum, vodka, gin, and Triple Sec with 2 ounces of lemon juice and 2 teaspoons of brown sugar. Fill with cola and ice in a large glass. Repeat if insane or want to die.
Phrase most heard: "Uher, where…baffroom."

5. Yoo-hoo: Perfect for Saturday morning cartoons. Like chocolate milk, with added vitamins and minerals (and some other weird hard to pronounce chemicals). Good for a hangover, sort of. Yes, a quality Bloody Mary is also good for a hangover, but not if you can't handle the spice or the hair-of-the-dog action. Coffee is also imperative for hangovers, but there's just something special about a Yoo-hoo.
Phrase most likely heard: "This $hit ain't workin'"

4. Screwdriver: 1 to 2 ounces of vodka with orange juice. Screwdrivers are good for Friends night. They're easy, they're cheap, and they're not so wild and crazy that you can't also have a beer as a break.
Phrase most likely heard: "I hate Ross"

4.5. Last summer, we determined the best way to cool down on a steamy summer evening in San Francisco. We like to call it a Piledriver. Take a bigger glass, add ice, and pour two fingers of vodka. Then add orange juice, pineapple juice, and cranberry juice. Then add more vodka. Add them slowly so you can taste frequently and get the perfect proportion.
Phrase most likely heard: "Did you just wet your pants?"

3. Coffee Cooler: It's like a coffee milkshake, but better. 1 1/2 ounce of vodka, 1 ounce of heavy cream, 1 ounce Kahlua, 1 1/2 tablespoons of sugar syrup, 4 ounces iced coffee, and 1 scoop of coffee ice cream. Combine everything but the ice cream, shake, strain, serve on the rocks. Add the ice cream on top. Yes, it's a bigger pain in the ass than most drinks, but for those nights when you're watching some good teen dramas followed by some equally good 80s teen movies, you need something sweet and creamy with a grown-up edge. And what are better grown-up edges than coffee and alcohol?
Phrase most likely heard: "I wish I were 15 and know what I know now."

2. Frozen Daiquiri of Love: What goes better with sun, beaches, and big-breasted blondes than daiquiris? Well, sure, a piña colada or a margarita works well, but there's something cheesier about a daiquiri. Even better, you can make all kinds of fruit flavors, like pineapple, mango, banana, strawberry, and raspberry by adding some fruit to the recipe. Even better than that, you can go get a Slurpee from 7-11, dump in some rum, and call it even. Just be careful -- too many of these and you'll be sitting in the litter box building little sandcastles. 1 1/2 oz Light Rum, 1 tbsp Triple Sec, 1 1/2 oz Juice, 1 tsp Sugar. Blend ingredients with 1 cup crushed ice for 5 on low. Then blend on high speed until thick.
Phrase most likely heard: "Does the blender need a lid?"

1. Beer: Whenever, wherever, and for whatever reason. Sports, regular TV, movies, just about any couch activity -- these are all better with beer. Newcastle, Guinness, Hefeweizen, Boddington's, Negro Modelo, Bohemia, Corona with lime, Budweiser, PBR, Schlitz, Miller, Coors, Lagunitas, IPA... the list goes on. And isn't that a beautiful thing?
Phrase that shouldn't be heard: "Do you guys have lite beer?"